How Many More Chances?

by Lucky Begum

I won’t do it again
I promise
It’s the last time
Give me another chance
I had fallen for those words
Never for the action.
It sounded like a broken record
Nothing but distraction.
How can a person be so sweet around others?
Everyone loved him
Even by mother.
But what they didn’t know was 
What I didn’t tell.
In his eyes I was a worthless being
Deserving of yelling, mocking
And cruel things
Every night I convinced myself 
I have no one, I can’t leave
And no one would ever believe
Suck it up
I said to myself,
At least my family can peacefully sleep
Knowing their reputation wasn’t at stake because of my foolish mistake
One day from the depth of sadness
My world fell apart
I was all alone with a miserable heart.
With a shattered self esteem
And a broken mess
I’ve decided to care for my happiness
I broke down the cage
And set myself free
I realized nobody would care
If I didn’t care about me.
I took all my courage I could find 
To stand up for myself and leave the devil behind 
It was the best thing I ever did. 
Sometimes I find myself in a river of tears 
But I learned to love me the hard way 
And facing my fears instead of running away.

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