Millennial Amma on “Super Mom Syndrome”

“Can you do this?”

“Do you have time?”

Super ammas will most likely have a difficult time saying “No” when asked these questions. There’s a number of factors that contribute to “Super Mom Syndrome” and most of us, ammas, are unaware that we have it! It’s when we feel we can do it ALL.

Generally speaking, some people have a difficult time saying “No” to an opportunity because of many reasons including 1.Someone close to us is asking and we don’t want to let them down and 2.We feel guilty because we have the skills necessary for the task. Here’s the thing, 1.That person who is close to us should understand if we need to rest and 2.We shouldn’t feel guilty for not having the energy required for a certain task at the time. But, for a super amma, who is so used to putting others first and herself, second, the word, “No,” is a challenge.

Sure, we do this because we love the people around us, but it’s important to also love our bodies and our minds. Yes, yes, we already know this and we accept that it’s true! But, knowing it and understanding it is different from practicing it. Usually, our minds tell us that we don’t have time for ourselves. We have to tell our minds, “Make time!” Otherwise, there will be this huge burden of anger and resentment building up inside of us and our subconscious tells us to ignore it. However, the ultimate result may be depression and exhaustion.

The thing is that most of us, who grew up in immigrant households, have a tendency to think that because of all of our parents’ hard labor and sacrifices, we are meant to do it ALL as  a means of giving back to them. And to some extent, we owe a lot to them. However, at the end of the day, we have our own lives to live, where we are finding ourselves in our parents’ shoes, however, pointing in different directions. If anything, our immigrant parents have always encouraged us to take on different opportunities, but they also want us to be healthy. “Super Mom Syndrome” can deeply affect an amma’s mental health.

Here are some relaxation tricks for you who are experiencing “Super Mom Syndrome:”

1.Sit down with a cup of chai.

2.Try some breathing exercises.

3. Imagine something that relaxes your mind; a time from the past or visualize a scene around you.

4.Take a walk to clear your head.

5.Close your eyes and meditate.

6.Write down your thoughts.

7.Put your feet up!

8.Take a long bath or a shower.

9.Do arts and crafts for ex. Draw, sew, do origami.

10.How often does an amma get to pick up her phone?! Surf.

Basically, most ammas are multitasking queens, but it’s time to take a deep breath, sit down and sort out our priorities…OUR priorities and I repeat, OUR priorities. We need to listen to ourselves and take care of ourselves. That doesn’t mean tucking ourselves away like bookmarks into books and putting them on a bookshelf to save for a later time. Rather, it means putting ourselves first, right now. NOW. Say it with me, “Me first, NOW.”

Happy Amma-ing!