Sexual abuse is not a trend. The âMe Tooâ movement was started to give survivors support and courage. As much as there are many wonderful things we share about our culture, how we collectively treat abusers and look at sexual abuse, is not one of them. In order for us to address sexual assault and abuse, we must discuss and educate ourselves on deeply rooted issues and root causes for our behaviors and belief systems.
While the rest of the world is talking about equal pay, WE ARE STILL far behind in the way women are treated in our community. Facebook comment sections are filled with people telling the victim to turn to God, or dress modestly, followed by more comments like âgood girls have no business staying out so lateâ. Even when a victim dares to speak up about their experiences, the consequences are often dire: the severe backlash in the community, her entire worth often diminished, her family and herself socially ostracized.
Then thereâs the incessant amount of slut-shaming and labeling. Parents stay quiet because âmanush ki bolbeâ, the eternal plight of of caring about what will people gossip about. While we normally mock and chastise ourselves for caring about what others will say when it comes to living our lives on our own terms, this isnât one of those scenarios. We make a survivorâs life incredibly difficult by questioning her character, her upbringing, and every aspect of her life and life choices, which further invalidates an incredibly traumatic experience.
We talk about grief and mental health and our need to process things at our own pace. But we conveniently throw that level of empathy out the window when a survivor comes forward, sometimes years after the actual incident. We expect a survivor to not only survive the assault and the emotional abuse from people in her community, but also the mental and physical repercussions as well. While the abusers live a normal life, virtually unscathed, the survivor battles with society, her family and herself. We immediately question her motives simply because she didnât come forward sooner.
BoNY would like to extend our platform to survivors who want to tell their stories and hold their abusers accountable. We recognize that thereâs a lot of work that we need to do collectively as a community. Hence, we would also like to foster discussions beyond how to value consent and address deeper issues that can stop abuse in its track. Most importantly we would like to support survivors as they process and share these traumatic incidents and help them cope with appropriate resources.
Here is the Bangla version of our BoNY survivors post:
āĻŦāύāĻŋ āĻāĻāĻāĻŋ āĻāϞā§āĻĒ āĻŦāϞāĻžāϰ āĻĒā§āϞā§āϝāĻžāĻāĻĢāϰā§āĻŽ āϝā§āĻāĻžāύ⧠āĻāĻŽāϰāĻž āĻŦāĻžāĻāĻžāϞāĻŋ āĻĒā§āϰāĻŦāĻžāϏā§āĻĻā§āϰ āĻāϞā§āĻĒ āϤā§āϞ⧠āϧāϰāĻŋāĨ¤ āĻāĻŽāϰāĻž āĻāĻŽāĻžāĻĻā§āϰ āĻĒā§āϰā§āĻŦāĻĒā§āϰā§āώāĻĻā§āϰ āĻāϞā§āĻĒ āĻāĻ°Â āϏā§āύā§āĻĻāϰ āĻāϤāĻŋāĻšā§āϝāĻā§āϞāĻŋāϰ āĻĒāĻžāĻļāĻžāĻĒāĻžāĻļāĻŋ āĻāĻŽāĻžāĻĻā§āϰ āύāĻŋāĻā§āϰ āϏāĻŽā§āĻĒā§āϰāĻĻāĻžāϝāĻŧā§āϰ āϏāĻāĻā§āϰāĻžāĻŽāĻā§āϞāĻŋāĻ āϤā§āϞ⧠āϧāϰāĻŋ āĨ¤ āĻāĻŽāϰāĻž āϏāĻŽā§āĻĒā§āϰāĻĻāĻžāϝāĻŧā§āϰ āĻāĻŋāϤāϰ⧠āĻāĻŦāĻ āĻŦāĻžāĻāϰ⧠āϏāĻŽā§āĻŽāĻŋāϞāĻŋāϤāĻāĻžāĻŦā§Â āϏāĻā§āϤāύāϤāĻž āϤā§āϰāĻŋ āĻāϰāĻžāϰ āĻāύā§āϝ āϝāĻĨāĻžāϏāĻžāϧā§āϝ āĻā§āώā§āĻāĻž āĻāϰāĻŋāĨ¤ āĻāĻŽāĻžāĻĻā§āϰ āĻāύāϏā§āĻāĻžāĻā§āϰāĻžāĻŽ āĻĄāĻŋāϰā§āĻā§āĻā§ āĻ āύā§āĻā§āĻ āĻāĻŽāĻžāĻĻā§āϰ āϧāύā§āϝāĻŦāĻžāĻĻ āĻāĻžāύāĻŋāϝāĻŧā§ āĻŽā§āϏā§āĻ āĻĒāĻžāĻ āĻžāύ, āĻāĻ āĻāϞā§āĻĒāĻā§āϞāĻŋ āĻļā§āϝāĻŧāĻžāϰ āĻāϰāĻŦāĻžāϰ āĻāύā§āϝā§āĨ¤ āĻāĻŽāϰāĻž āĻāĻŽāύ āĻ āĻāĻŋāĻā§āĻāϤāĻž āĻļā§āϝāĻŧāĻžāϰ āĻāϰāĻŋ āϝāĻž āĻāĻŽāĻžāĻĻā§āϰ āĻĒāĻžāĻ āĻāĻĻā§āϰ āĻāύā§āϝ āĻāύāύā§āĻĻ āĻāĻŦāĻ āϏāĻā§āϤāύāϤāĻž āĻāύāϤ⧠āĻĒāĻžāϰā§āĨ¤ āĻŦāϰā§āϤāĻŽāĻžāύ āĻāĻāύāĻžāĻā§āϞāĻŋ āĻā§āĻāĻžāĻŦā§ āĻŦāĻžāĻāĻžāϞāĻŋ āϏāĻŽā§āĻĒā§āϰāĻĻāĻžāϝāĻŧāĻā§ āĻĒā§āϰāĻāĻžāĻŦāĻŋāϤ āĻāϰ⧠āϤāĻžāĻ āĻāĻŽāϰāĻž āĻāϞā§āĻāύāĻž āĻāϰāĻŋāĨ¤ āϏāĻŽā§āĻĒā§āϰāϤāĻŋ āĻāĻŽāϰāĻž āϝā§āύ āύāĻŋāĻā§āϰāĻš āĻāĻŦāĻ āύāĻŋāϰā§āϝāĻžāϤāύā§āϰ āĻ āύā§āĻ āĻŽā§āϏā§āĻ āĻĒāĻžāĻā§āĻāĻŋāĨ¤āϝā§āύ āύāĻŋāϰā§āϝāĻžāϤāύ āĻā§āύ āĻĒā§āϰāĻŦāĻŖāϤāĻž āĻŦāĻž āύāϤā§āύ āϏā§āĻļā§āϝāĻžāϞ āĻŽāĻŋāĻĄāĻŋāϝāĻŧāĻž âāĻā§āϰā§āύā§āĻĄâ āύāϝāĻŧāĨ¤ āύāĻŋāϰā§āϝāĻžāϤāĻŋāϤ āĻŦā§āϝāĻā§āϤāĻŋāĻĻā§āϰ āϏāĻŽāϰā§āĻĨāύ āĻ āϏāĻžāĻšāϏ āĻĻā§āĻāϝāĻŧāĻžāϰ āĻāύā§āϝ âāĻŽāĻŋ āĻā§â āĻāύā§āĻĻā§āϞāύāĻāĻŋ āĻļā§āϰ⧠āĻšāϝāĻŧā§āĻāĻŋāϞāĨ¤ āĻāĻŽāϰāĻž āĻāĻŽāĻžāĻĻā§āϰ āϏāĻāϏā§āĻā§āϤāĻŋāϰ āĻ āύā§āĻ āĻāĻžāϞ⧠āĻĻāĻŋāĻāĻā§āϞ⧠āϤā§āϞ⧠āϧāϰāĻŋ, āĻāĻŋāύā§āϤ⧠āϝā§āĻāĻžāĻŦā§ āĻāĻŽāϰāĻž āϏāĻŽāĻžāĻ āĻšāĻŋāϏā§āĻŦā§ āϝā§āĻĨāĻāĻžāĻŦā§ āύāĻŋāϰā§āϝāĻžāϤāĻŋāϤāĻžāĻĻā§āϰ āϏāĻžāĻĨā§ āĻāĻāϰāĻŖ āĻāϰāĻŋ āĻāĻŦāĻ āϝā§āύ āύāĻŋāϰā§āϝāĻžāϤāύ āĻā§ āĻŦā§āĻāĻŋ, āϤāĻž āĻŽā§āĻā§āĻ āĻā§āϰāĻšāύāϝā§āĻā§āϝ āύāϝāĻŧ āĨ¤ āϝā§āύ āύāĻŋāĻĒā§āĻĄāĻŧāύ āĻ āύāĻŋāϰā§āϝāĻžāϤāύ āĻŽā§āĻāĻžāĻŦā§āϞāĻžāϰ āĻāύā§āϝ, āĻāĻŽāĻžāĻĻā§āϰ āύāĻŋāĻā§āĻĻā§āϰ āĻāĻāĻžāϰāĻŖā§āϰ āĻŽā§āϞ āĻāĻžāϰāĻŖāĻā§āϞāĻŋāϰ āϏāĻŽā§āĻĒāϰā§āĻā§ āύāĻŋāĻā§āĻĻā§āϰāĻā§ āĻļāĻŋāĻā§āώāĻŋāϤ āĻāϰāϤ⧠āĻšāĻŦā§āĨ¤ āϝā§āĻāĻžāύ⧠āϏāĻžāϰāĻž āĻŦāĻŋāĻļā§āĻŦā§ āĻāĻāϝāĻŧ āϞāĻŋāĻā§āĻā§āϰ āϏāĻŽāĻžāύ āĻŦā§āϤāύā§āϰ āĻāĻĨāĻž āĻāϞāĻā§, āϏā§āĻāĻžāύ⧠āĻāĻŽāĻžāĻĻā§āϰ āϏāĻŽā§āĻĒā§āϰāĻĻāĻžāϝāĻŧā§āϰ āύāĻžāϰā§āĻĻā§āϰ āϏāĻžāĻĨā§ āϝā§āĻāĻžāĻŦā§ āĻāĻāϰāĻŖ āĻāϰāĻž āĻšāĻā§āĻā§ āϤāĻžāϤ⧠āĻāĻŽāϰāĻž āĻāĻāύāĻ āĻ āύā§āĻ āĻĒāĻŋāĻāĻŋāϝāĻŧā§ āĻāĻāĻŋāĨ¤ āĻĢā§āϏāĻŦā§āĻā§ āĻ āύā§āĻā§āĻ āύāĻŋāϰā§āϝāĻžāϤāĻŋāϤāĻžāĻĻā§āϰ āĻāϰāĻŋāϤā§āϰ āύāĻŋāϝāĻŧā§ āύāĻžāύāĻžāύ āĻŽāύā§āϤāĻŦā§āϝ āĻāϰāĻā§, āϝā§āĻŽāύ āĻāϞā§āϞāĻžāĻšāϰ āĻĒāĻĨā§ āĻĢāĻŋāϰ⧠āϝā§āϤ⧠āĻŦāϞāĻā§ , āĻĸāĻžāĻāĻž āĻĒā§āĻļāĻžāĻ āĻĒāϰāϤ⧠āĻŦāϞāĻā§, āĻāĻŦāĻžāϰ āĻ āύā§āĻā§ āĻāĻ āĻŽāύā§āϤāĻŦā§āϝāĻ āĻāϰāĻā§āύ āϝ⧠âāĻāĻžāϞ āĻŽā§āϝāĻŧā§āϰāĻž āĻāϤ āĻĻā§āϰāĻŋāϤ⧠āĻŦāĻžāϏāĻžāϝāĻŧ āĻĢā§āϰ⧠āύāĻžâāĨ¤ āĻāĻŽāĻžāĻĻā§āϰ āϏāĻŽāĻžāĻā§ āϝāĻāύ āĻā§āĻ āϤāĻžāĻĻā§āϰ āύāĻŋāϰā§āϝāĻžāϤāĻŋāϤ āĻšāĻāϝāĻŧāĻž āύāĻŋāϝāĻŧā§ āĻāĻĨāĻž āĻŦāϞāĻžāϰ āϏāĻžāĻšāϏ āĻāϰā§, āϤāĻāύ āϏā§āĻ āĻāĻĨāĻž āĻŦāϞāĻžāϰ āĻĒāϰāĻŋāĻŖāϤāĻŋāĻā§āϞāĻŋ āĻĒā§āϰāĻžāϝāĻŧāĻļāĻ āĻŽāĻžāϰāĻžāϤā§āĻŽāĻ āĻšāϝāĻŧ| āϝā§āĻŽāύ āϏāĻŽā§āĻĒā§āϰāĻĻāĻžāϝāĻŧā§āϰ āϤā§āĻŦā§āϰ āĻĒā§āϰāϤāĻŋāĻā§āϰāĻŋāϝāĻŧāĻž āϏāĻšā§āϝ āĻāϰāϤ⧠āĻšāϝāĻŧ, āϤāĻžāϰ āϏāĻŽā§āĻŽāĻžāύ āĻ āϏāĻŋāĻĻā§āϧ āĻāϰāĻžāĻāĻŋ āĻŽā§āύ⧠āύāĻŋāϤ⧠āĻšāϝāĻŧ, āϤāĻžāϰ āĻĒāϰāĻŋāĻŦāĻžāϰāĻā§ āĻāĻŦāĻ āύāĻŋāĻā§āĻā§ āϏāĻžāĻŽāĻžāĻāĻŋāĻāĻāĻžāĻŦā§ āĻāĻā§āĻā§āĻĻ āĻāϰāĻžāĻāĻžāĻ āĻŽā§āύ⧠āύāĻŋāϤ⧠āĻšāϝāĻŧāĨ¤ āϤāĻžāϰāĻĒāϰ⧠āĻļā§āϞāĻžāĻ -āĻļā§āϝāĻžāĻŽāĻŋāĻ āĻāĻŦāĻ āύāĻžāύāĻžāύ āĻĒā§āϰāĻāĻžāϰā§āϰ āĻŦāĻĻāύāĻžāĻŽ āĻāϰ āϏāĻŽāĻžāϞā§āĻāύāĻž āϤ⧠āĻāĻā§āĻāĨ¤ āĻŦāĻžāĻŦāĻž-āĻŽāĻžāϝāĻŧā§āϰāĻž āĻā§āĻĒ āĻĨāĻžāĻā§āύ âāĻŽāĻžāύā§āώ āĻāĻŋ āĻŦāϞāĻŦā§â āϏā§āĻ āĻāϝāĻŧā§ āĨ¤ āĻāĻŽāϰāĻž āϝāĻāύ āύāĻŋāĻā§āϰ āĻļāϰā§āϤ⧠āĻāĻŽāĻžāĻĻā§āϰ āĻā§āĻŦāύāϝāĻžāĻĒāύā§āϰ āĻāĻĨāĻž āĻŦāϞāĻŋ āϤāĻāύ āĻŽāĻžāύā§āώā§āϰ āĻāĻĨāĻžāϝāĻŧ āĻāĻžāύ āĻĻā§āϝāĻŧāĻž āύāĻŋāϝāĻŧā§ āĻāĻŽāϰāĻž āϏāĻžāϧāĻžāϰāĻŖāϤ āĻāĻĒāĻšāĻžāϏ āĻāϰāĻŋāĨ¤āĻāĻŋāύā§āϤ⧠āĻāĻŽāϰāĻž āύāĻŋāϰā§āϝāĻžāϤāĻŋāϤāĻžāϰ āĻāϰāĻŋāϤā§āϰ, āϤāĻžāϰ āϞāĻžāϞāύāĻĒāĻžāϞāύ, āĻāĻŦāĻ āϤāĻžāϰ āĻā§āĻŦāύāϝāĻžāĻĒāύā§āϰ āĻāĻā§āĻā§āϰ āĻĒā§āϰāϤāĻŋ āϤā§āĻŦā§āϰ āύāĻŋāύā§āĻĻāĻž āĻāϰ⧠āϤāĻžāĻĻā§āϰ āĻŦāĻžāĻāĻāĻž āĻāĻ āĻŋāύ āĻāϰ⧠āϤā§āϞāĻŋ, āϝāĻž āϤāĻžāĻĻā§āϰ āĻŽāϰā§āĻŽāĻžāύā§āϤāĻŋāĻ āĻ āĻāĻŋāĻā§āĻāϤāĻžāĻā§ āĻ āĻļā§āĻŦāĻŋāĻāĻžāϰ āĻāϰā§āĨ¤āĻāĻŽāϰāĻž āĻļā§āĻ āĻāĻŦāĻ āĻŽāĻžāύāϏāĻŋāĻ āϏā§āĻŦāĻžāϏā§āĻĨā§āϝ āύāĻŋāϝāĻŧā§ āϏāĻšāύā§āĻā§āϤāĻŋ āĻĻā§āĻāĻžāĻāĨ¤ āĻāĻŋāύā§āϤ⧠āϝāĻāύ āĻā§āĻ āϤāĻžāĻĻā§āϰ āĻ āĻāĻŋāĻā§āϝāϤāĻž āύāĻŋāϝāĻŧā§ āĻāĻĨāĻž āĻŦāϞā§, āϝā§āĻāĻž āĻ āύā§āĻ āϏāĻŽāϝāĻŧ āĻāĻāύāĻžāϰ āĻāϝāĻŧā§āĻ āĻŦāĻāϰ āĻĒāϰāĻ āĻšāϤ⧠āĻĒāĻžāϰā§, āϤāĻāύ āĻāĻŽāϰāĻž āϏāĻšāĻžāύā§āĻā§āϤāĻŋāϰ āĻŦā§āϝāĻžāĻĒāĻžāϰāĻāĻŋ āĻā§āϞ⧠āϝāĻžāĻ āĨ¤ āĻāĻŽāϰāĻž āĻā§āĻŦ āĻ āύā§āϝāĻžāϝāĻŧāĻāĻžāĻŦā§ āĻāĻļāĻž āĻāϰāĻŋ āϝ⧠āĻāĻāĻāύ āύāĻŋāϰā§āϝāĻžāϤāĻŋāϤ āĻŦā§āϝāĻā§āϤāĻŋ āϏāĻŦāĻžāϰ āϏāĻŽāĻžāϞā§āĻāύāĻž āĻŽā§āύ⧠āύā§āĻŦā§, āϤāĻžāϰ āĻĒā§āϰāϤāĻŋ āĻšāĻāϝāĻŧāĻž āĻ āύā§āύā§āϝāĻžāϝāĻŧāĻāĻŋ āĻŽā§āύ⧠āύā§āĻŦā§, āĻāĻŦāĻ āϏā§āĻ āĻāĻāύāĻžāϰ āĻāĻžāϰāĻŖā§ āĻŽāĻžāύāϏāĻŋāĻ āĻāĻŦāĻ āĻļāĻžāϰā§āϰāĻŋāĻ āĻĒā§āϰāϤāĻŋāĻā§āϰāĻŋāϝāĻŧāĻžāĻ āĻŽā§āύ⧠āύā§āĻŦā§āĨ¤ āϝā§āĻāĻžāύ⧠āĻ āĻāĻŋāϝā§āĻā§āϤ āĻŦā§āϝāĻžāĻā§āϤāĻŋāĻāĻŋ āĻāĻāĻāĻŋ āϏāĻžāϧāĻžāϰāĻŖ āĻā§āĻŦāύāϝāĻžāĻĒāύ āĻāϰāĻā§, āϏā§āĻāĻžāύ⧠āύāĻŋāϰā§āϝāĻžāϤāĻŋāϤāĻžāϰāĻž āϏāĻŽāĻžāĻā§āϰ āϏāĻžāĻĨā§, āĻĒāϰāĻŋāĻŦāĻžāϰā§āϰ āϏāĻžāĻĨā§ āĻāĻŦāĻ āύāĻŋāĻā§āϰ āϏāĻžāĻĨā§ āϞāĻĄāĻŧāĻžāĻ āĻāϰāĻā§āĨ¤āĻāϰ āĻāĻŽāϰāĻž āϤāĻžāϰ āĻāĻĻā§āĻĻā§āĻļā§āϝ āϏāĻŽā§āĻĒāϰā§āĻā§ āύāĻžāύāĻžāύ āĻĒā§āϰāĻļā§āύ āĻāϰ⧠āϤāĻžāĻā§ āĻāϰā§āĻāϰāĻŋāϤ āĻāϰāĻŋ āĻāĻžāϰāĻŖ āϏ⧠āĻāϰ⧠āĻāĻā§ āĻŽā§āĻ āĻā§āϞā§āύāĻŋāĨ¤āĻāĻŽāϰāĻž āύāĻŋāϰā§āϝāĻžāϤāĻŋāϤāĻĻā§āϰ āϤāĻžāĻĻā§āϰ āĻāϞā§āĻĒ āĻŦāϞāϤ⧠āĻāĻŦāĻ āĻ āĻāĻŋāϝā§āĻā§āϤāĻĻā§āϰ āĻāĻŦāĻžāĻŦāĻĻāĻŋāĻšāĻŋāϰ āĻĻāĻžāĻŦāĻŋ āĻāϰāϤ⧠āĻāĻŽāĻžāĻĻā§āϰ āĻĒā§āϞā§āϝāĻžāĻāĻĢāϰā§āĻŽāĻāĻŋ āĻāĻāĻŋāϝāĻŧā§ āĻĻāĻŋāϤ⧠āĻāĻžāĻāĨ¤ āϏāĻŽāĻžāĻ āĻāĻŦāĻ āϏāĻŽā§āĻĒā§āϰāĻĻāĻžāϝāĻŧ āĻšāĻŋāϏāĻžāĻŦā§ āĻāĻŽāĻžāĻĻā§āϰ āϏāĻŽā§āĻŽāĻŋāϞāĻŋāϤāĻāĻžāĻŦā§ āĻāϰāĻ āĻ āύā§āĻ āĻĻā§āϰ āĻāĻā§āϤ⧠āĻšāĻŦā§āĨ¤āϤāĻžāĻ āĻāĻŽāϰāĻž āϏāĻŽā§āĻŽāϤāĻŋāϰ āĻā§āϰā§āϤā§āĻŦ āĻāĻŦāĻ āύāĻŋāϰā§āϝāĻžāϤāύ āύāĻŋāϰā§āϧ āĻāϰāĻžāϰ āϏāĻžāĻĨā§ āĻāĻĄāĻŧāĻŋāϤ āĻāĻŋāĻā§ āĻŽā§āϞ āϏāĻŽāϏā§āϝāĻžāĻā§āϞ⧠āύāĻŋāϝāĻŧā§ āĻāϞā§āĻāύāĻž āĻļā§āϰ⧠āĻāϰāϤ⧠āĻāĻžāĻāĨ¤Â āĻāϰ āϏāĻŦāĻā§āϝāĻŧā§ āĻā§āϰā§āϤā§āĻŦ āϏāĻšāĻāĻžāϰ⧠āĻāĻŽāϰāĻž āĻā§āώāϤāĻŋāĻā§āϰāϏā§āĻĨāĻĻā§āϰ āĻāĻ āĻāĻāĻžāϤāĻāύāĻŋāϤ āĻāĻāύāĻžāĻā§āϞāĻŋ āϤā§āϞ⧠āϧāϰāϤ⧠āϏāĻŽāϰā§āĻĨāύāĻž āĻĻāĻŋāϤ⧠āĻāĻžāĻ āĻāĻŦāĻ āϤāĻžāĻĻā§āϰāĻā§ āϝāĻĨāĻžāϝāĻĨ āϏāĻāϏā§āĻĨāĻžāύāĻā§āϞāĻŋāϰ āϏāĻžāĻšāĻžāϝā§āϝ⧠āϏāĻšāĻžāϝāĻŧāϤāĻž āĻāϰāϤ⧠āĻāĻžāĻ